Ultimate dad movie. . .

So today was my first Friday afternoon with Skippy Jr. My company offers flextime and since they started it I have used it to take off Friday afternoons. This is great now with a baby around.

So today, I left work at 11 and drove to Grandma's house to pick up Skippy Jr. We guys came home to watch a guys movie. . . well I watched he slept. Shoot Em Up is probably the most insanely unbelievable action movie ever made. Lots of shooting, lots of implausible stunts. . . some of which made me laugh out loud at their absurdity, but you don't watch a movie called Shoot Em Up and expect realism. I got this movie for these reasons. I knew nothing about the plot, I knew the people in the movie and thought it looked cool.

There was something I didn't expect. The plot of the movie is this. A seemingly homeless man sitting waiting for a bus sees a pregnant woman running down the street, she's being chased by a man, the chasing man displays a gun as he follows the woman down the alley. So the homeless man follows them. He stops the gun carrying man (by killing him very violently of course) and goes to the woman. Suddenly about 50 more gun toting outlaws appear all trying to get the woman. Long story short the homeless man delivers the baby while shooting bad guys. The mother dies and. . .

OK forget about the real plot. The point is the movie is nothing but super-action gun-fight after super-action gun-fight as the homeless guy, the baby and a lactating prostitute (baby's got to eat) run from the guy from Sideways. The baby is being carried by the hero in almost every single gun fight and even eventually get him own little bullet proof vest. The homeless man (who we later find out is not just some homeless man) and prostitute even start referring to each other as mommy and daddy. Daddy shoots a lot of people, jumps out of a plane, and—of course—has sex with mommy. Mommy is Monica Bellucci so she just runs around looking hot.

AND THAT is why I have named this the Ultimate dad movie.