Baby and haircut. . . 2 bits. . .

I am so jealous. The girl who cuts my hair, Karen, is having twins. She's due at the end of October. She had some issues preventing her from ovulating so she was on fertility drugs and once she got pregnant there were 5 amniotic sacs so she's lucky it's only two.

On a side note I want everyone to notice something. I know her due date. I know at least 3 other people's due dates. Before my wife got knocked up I never knew when people were due. In fact I never knew anyone who was even pregnant (except my sisters). Now pregnant women are everywhere (Karen confirmed this phenomenon)! It's like pregnant zombies everywhere chanting "one of us."

"The Pregnant Zombies" sounds like a good band name.

I also came to the realization that it was possibly the last time I saw Karen that we got pregnant. What can I say, she gives a pretty mean haircut.

And "you're welcome" for not using the zombie baby images I found on Google.

I need a cool manly apron. . .

More and more people to tell. This telling people thing is exhausting. By the way anybody that I told by sending the link to this page drop me a note and say "hi."

Today we hit week 11. One more week and the nausea should be all gone. If not I'm going to have to put my wife in a medicated coma on a feeding tube. I can't take much more of it. I know "poor me, I'm not the one carrying the baby." But that's what this space is for. . . me to talk about my side of things, right?

I love my wife deeply, but the more pregnant she gets the more I worry that I'll have two people to take care of. I already do the cooking and most of the cleaning. I think in a few years I'll leave my job and become a househusband. I can do some work from home whilst my wife goes to work. I'll take care of the kids and the house. It'll be great. I'll show those desperate people on TV.

Wait. . . What?! . . .

I've made a hobby of finding fun ways to tell people about the baby. I like that everybody I tell is totally caught off guard. A female friend of ours asked if my wife had lost weight cause she looked really good. She responded that she had. Our friend asked how and my response was "this revolutionary weight loss program, it's called getting pregnant."

I told another friend by saying "I have a couple dates for you to remember. May 19th is our Barbeque, and November 15th is our baby's due date."

For work I announced it while discussing the problems facing an upcoming marketing campaign we'll be working on then. "We have a short selling period and all projects need to be off to the printer before November 15th because..."

We told my wife's extended family by telling her grandmother that we needed her to knit a stocking. When she asked who it was for we responded "your great-grand-daughter." That one got the least response. The room got really quiet.

One woman I told at work was worried I was telling her I was quitting.

So yeah, it's my new favorite thing to do. Find fun ways to work it into the conversation and blind side people. It's great.

Yesterday we told a couple that we hang out with a lot. They had a baby last July (on our anniversary). I think our friend, who is a mom, is actually more excited than we are. Now her daughter will have another kid to play with. Sure they'll be a bit more than a year apart, but so are Emma and Paige, and they play great together.

Nothing like setting play dates 7 months before the kid arrives.

Parents first toy. . .

When we told my sisters about the baby on Sunday they were very excited. One more kid to have running around at family gatherings will only add to the already fun chaos.

My mom bought us our first baby toy. It's an elephant (note: not the elephant pictured) that crinkles and rattles and it had a sign on it's ear that said "pull here." So we tugged on the ear and nothing happened. We tugged again. . . nothing. Two adults about to have a kid couldn't figure out how to work a toy marked for 0+ months! We're in trouble (we did figure it out eventually).

After dinner and the toy incident I sat and played with my nieces, Emma and Paige (my nephew, Kevin, was being a brat and was taken away by his mother). We played a game where I would shout out an animal and they would act like that animal. My favorite was the pigs when they rolled around on the floor, but the duck was cool too.

A little while later everyone had left but Paige, she had to wait for her mother to return. My wife was worn out (as I'm sure you can imagine) so she collapsed on the couch. Paige came over to ask what she was doing.

"I'm gonna go to sleep," said my wife.

I added "she's going to lay on that pillow and sleep."

My wife rebutted, "nope, I'm gonna use your uncle for a pillow," and she laid her head on me.

Paige looked at her very sternly and said "he is not a pillow, he is a people. We sleep on pillows not people."

The bump

This morning my lovely wife was standing in the bathroom looking at her belly with her shirt pulled up this morning insisting she's gotten bigger. For me, her standing in her undies with her shirt pulled up was just plain hot. Then she had be feel it and it felt firmer and a little rounder. I told her this. . . she didn't like that.

We had joked about taking pictures of her as she progresses. I think I have enough problems with her body image normally and I don't need to make her take pictures of her expanding body. Maybe if she brings it up again.

This week (week 11 according to the Mayo Clinic book) we can officially call it a fetus. All the organs are at least started (although being our kid they're putting it off till the last possible second). I keep saying to her belly "you better not be growing a penis in there!" I so want a girl.

Bigger and Bigger

As my wife's belly begins to show some signs of growth (thought she's now lost about 6 lbs) so does the group of people who know aboutour news. Our families are mostly informed, most everyone in my office knows and we beginning to tell friends. Only 2 of my wife's coworkers know, she's keeping it secret since there's only one month of school left.

The reaction from people is interesting. People you think would go nuts (the future great-grandmother for example) hardly seem to care. While the people who you would think would be detached (an aunt that has basically left the family) start trying to buy decorations for the nursery (we're thinking of a monkey theme).

We both agreed we want people to know and be happy for us, and then back the hell up.

The big question I have been asking myself is how to tell people. Generally I try and work some coded message into a way to announce it. I told my family out of the blue while discussing an odd baby shower the womenfolk had just attended. I told the people in my department at work whilst discussing scheduling of our future jobs (yes, we plan that far away). Still many times all I can do is say a trite "we're pregnant." I'm not pregnant so I go for "I'm gonna be a daddy." Which sounds a little creepy so I move to "my wife's gonna have a baby." That sounds like I have no part in it so then it's "I'm gonna have a baby." This is factually wrong, which leads me back to "we're" pregnant."

It's that or a la Coupling "my wife 'is incubating an alien life form that will one day attempt to take over the world.'"

EDIT: Oh yeah I almost forgot I got my first comment. Someone is reading (or already read) this thing.

What a difference a baby makes. . .

I had my blood drawn at work. They offer it every year so we can see how we're doing. I've skipped it for the past few years because I didn't care much, and the times before that when I had it checked I was told I had high cholesterol, and I ignored it.

It's never bothered me much before. I'm not a particularly fat person, but I'm not as skinny as I used to be, and I definitely don't eat a healthy diet.

I need to do better.

The Loneliest Number

Only one baby. We have vanishing twin syndrome. We went in to see the doctor and she did another ultrasound and the second amneotic sac is almost gone. A little sad, but mostly relieved. Now on with a nice normal pregnancy.

Ante up. . .

I found out yesterday that a good friend of mine from my high school days is expecting a baby 2 weeks before we are expecting our bundle(s) of joy (yes, today is the big day where we find out just how crazy life can become).

Growing up, this girl and I dated for a very short period of time and then (along with another friend of ours) we became inseparable for a couple summers just the three of us. We spent our time playing in her pool, laying around watching movies, just being lazy and together. People who knew us suspected we were in some weird love triangle.

We still see each other from time to time. And recently she and her new husband moved nearby. And now she's having a baby 2 weeks before we are. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to call her and say "I see you baby and raise you a second baby."

Hopefully time flies. . .

We watched my niece this morning. We watched the Little Mermaid with her. She snuggled up next to me and kept moving closer and closer to me. A wave or excitement washed over me that in a couple years' time I'll be doing the same with a child of my own. So we sat and snuggled, it was perfect. . .

To tell or not to tell. . .

The question every pregnant couple has to deal with. Who to tell and when.

My cousin and his wife made the mistake each time of telling everyone right away. They did it for the time she miscarried on Valentine's Day and again when she miscarried the Friday before Mother's Day. . . and many more times before she gave birth to a baby boy not much more than a month ago. Both our mom's miscarried at least once before we came along (my mom told everyone the first time and no one until it was safe to tell the second time).

So this weekend being a time for family gatherings and my wife's uncle being in town, we've decided to tell that part of her family this weekend. We thought about telling our friends (who are coming over tomorrow night), but I think now we're leaning towards not telling them. round and round we go. As excited as I am and as much as I want to tell the world (i.e. this blog, if anyone has stumbled upon it) right now I'm of the mind to keep it quiet. . . at least until Monday's appointment.

So torn.

Bad dreams

Four days from now I'll be finding out if I'm going to be the father of 1 or 2 kids. I think the twins thing has knocked me off track of the main idea. . . I'm going to be a dad.

I had my first baby dream last night. Someone was threatening to take the baby from me because I wasn't burping him correctly. They said she was turning purple and that it was because of me so I was not allowed to have him anymore. Then it morphed into a dream of me trying to find unique ways of telling my sister and I wasted so much time planning it that I didn't get to tell them.

It was like a bad pizza dream, only without getting to eats vast amounts of pizza beforehand.

A one, and a two, and a. . . .

So today we wen to the doctor to have the first ultrasound taken of our baby (say "cheese"). The first words out of the doctor's mouth after sticking the ultrasound wand you-know-where were "Oh you're having twins."

WHAT!?!

I insisted she must be joking and reminded her that April Fool's Day was in fact yesterday. She insisted she was not joking. . .

So after probing for a little while she showed us one amniotic sac with a little embryo with a strong heartbeat and one amniotic sac that appears to be empty. There is a chance we're experiencing vanishing twin syndrome. We go back next Monday for a second look.

I have to say, through all of this experience, that moment was truly the most exciting for me. To the point of almost crying tears of joy. My wife is freaked out, and doesn't know how we could possibly make this work, but I couldn't be more happy. The idea of raising two kids at once, though daunting, is thrilling to me.

She wonders why when we tell someone they laugh, I know it's not laughing at us. It's excitement, it's happiness, it's how I want them to respond. . . hell, it's how I responded.

So until next Monday, it's twins.