Friday, December 12, 2008

Feeding rules. . .

  1. Some things can only be eaten with a spoon. These items can be fed to the eater with a spoon or the eater can put it onto his/her spoon—with his/her hands—and then eaten off of the spoon. If no spoon is available the food, which is the best food ever on a spoon, will be rejected and treated as the most vile food on the planet.
  2. That which will not be eaten needs to be as far away as possible, preferably on the floor. This includes "yucky" food as well as some favorable foods*.
  3. Cheerios will hold a baby out for a long time. . . Corn Chex will slow them down just as much if not more.
  4. Bananas>Peaches>Cheese>Ham>Veggie Puffs>Bread. . . Juice>Milk>Water
  5. If the feeding is being overseen by the female parental unit, messy food must be rubbed into the eater's hair at some point in the feeding.
  6. The eater reserves the right to demand any food regardless of having already tried and dismissing it already.
Failure to adhere to these rules of feeding will result in the eater throwing his/her head back and screaming.

*"Hmm I've had this Cheerio in my mouth for 3 seconds, I'd prefer a fresh one." and then he throws it overboard. Below the high chair is a perpetual pile of previously chewed food.


caramama said...

I am all too familiar with these rules. Where do the babies learn them? Are the given the instructions at birth or secretly communicate them later?

Although, now you have to change spoon to say fork instead. Sometimes a spoon will do, but usually she. must. have. the. fork!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yep you hit the nail on the head.LOL

BTW I was totally kidding about you calling my kid a dog. I was trying to be funny. I guess becomging a comedian is not in my future.LOL